Piggybacking on the news of a conviction of a file sharer by the Department of Justice, SafeMedia put out a press release touting its product Clouseau “Cracks the Code to Destroy P2P Piracy.” O rly?

It does not infringe on user’s privacy, while eradicating illegal P2P networks which make possible the theft of billions of dollars of copyright protected digital properties, such as music, motion pictures, TV programs, electronic games software and Ebooks, etc.

Now Hollywood, I know you love Carl Hiaasen’s chronicles of corrupt Floridian hustlers, so please think twice about the claims of a technology company based in Boca Raton. Because I promise you, this box is not going to solve your problems.

Macrovision, Microsoft, AACS, Apple — they’ve all sold you a bill of goods, as not one of their products has done anything to thwart the spread of unauthorized distribution of your content. Every time a new anti-piracy technology comes out, snot-nosed kids have risen to the occasion. So what makes you think that Clouseau will be any different?

The Electronic Frontier Foundation has already done a valiant job debunking Clouseau’s claims. At best, they argue, it would just turn into yet another “cat-and-mouse” game a la the current situation between AACS and the Doom9 hackers. You’d be spending money on SafeMedia that you could be lavishing on the shareholders content creators that the media industry values so highly.

What’s particularly pernicious about SafeMedia’s claims is that they’re being marketed to ISPs and the Government — one organization with a bad reputation for traffic shaping and privacy invasion, and the other with a bad reputation for being monumentally confused and easily corrupted when it comes to new technology.