I love infomercials. Especially the one where there’s lots of footage of some dude on his yacht, or petting a dog on his mansion lawn, or eating caviar on the patio overlooking the beach, while wearing a tuxedo and making a group of bikini-clad models giggle. Then he explains how all this can be yours if you simply buy his book, DVD and CD series of the tools you need to start your own business selling books, DVDs and CDs through direct marketing like infomercials. You know you’ve watched it at three in the morning while suffering from stress-induced insomnia.

It’s that kind of blast from the past that hit me when I got the press release touting the new Million Dollar Web TV homepage. That’s right, like the Million Dollar Homepage of the past, you can purchase your ten by ten spread of pixels and rocket your way to fame and riches! Or, at least, Mr. Million Dollar Web TV can! Not that a million dollars will get you very far in Silicon Valley these days, but it would certainly be enough to fund the budget of an online infomercial with caviar and bikini clad models.

With your purchase, you even get a bonafide certificate entitling you to a share of any profits over and above $1 million the site generates. The administrators guarantee that the site will be up for at least ten years, and are eagerly signing up various link share partners to make sure that everyone gets that all important search engine referral juice.

The first ad place is from Yellowtag, a company that will sell you little tags for your items with confidential contact info in case you lose them. Clicking on their ad graphic brings up a popup window that plays back their video pitch. Which only set them back $7,000 — but can you really put a price on this kind of promotional magic?