Teen Vampire’s Vlog Tells the Truth About Twilight

In case you thought that Liam Kyle Sullivan was an one-character wonder, think again. The fabulous betch behind Shoes has created a wide universe of friends for his drag persona Kelly to interact with, and one of the latest has developed a following in her own right.

Of course, if you told Heather The Teenage Vampire that people were only interested in her because of her blood-sucking lifestyle, she’d probably be annoyed. Forever adolescent and foul-mouthed, Heather wishes she was a normal girl, because in her words, “eternal life sucks balls.” But with the support of her alcoholic father and adorable dog, she gets by — and seems to take no shortage of comfort in mocking the depiction of her species in media.

Of the eight installments of Heather’s vlog currently on YouTube, most of them are devoted to commentary on the latest popular vampire franchises, which she finds terribly inaccurate but also freaking hilarious, especially the HBO series True Blood and the web series I Heart Vampires. Her biggest pet peeve? The sparkly vampires of novel/movie/teen girl obsession Twilight. Because, as Heather demonstrates, when real vampires go out into the sun the results aren’t quite so magical.

Heather is portrayed by Megahn Perry, who first appeared in the Kelly videos Text Message Breakup and No Booty Calls and whose offline credits include a number of TV roles (trivia note — this isn’t the first time Perry has played a vampire, as she previously portrayed one in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode Phases). Any vlog-format show relies chiefly on its star’s charisma for its success, and fortunately Perry is completely convincing in her teen angst ways.

But even if she weren’t, the writing is so clever and fun that we’d still probably be drawn to liking her. While Heather doesn’t exactly come off as a people person, she’s still an engaging persona with a fun edge to her. There’s no denying that vampires are becoming extremely overplayed, but if parody and commentary on this level is the result, it’s almost enough to justify the annoyance of Robert Patterson fangirls. (Almost.)